10.

The bill collectors still haven't figured out my new address yet.

9. 

The judge said that I needed to move this far away from you.

8.

"I'd love to shovel your driveway, mom, but I'm at the beach."

7.

Driving 35 MPH in a 70 MPH zone behind a puff of blue hair is fun.

6.

I thought the "Cone of Uncertainty" was a new flavor of ice cream.

5.

I wanted to see what rain looks like in 120 MPH winds.

4.

I had to get away from those obnoxious northerners.

3.

The further I move from my ex-wife the warmer it gets.

2.

There aren't nearly as many road blocks down here.

1.

Tired of getting frostbite on my middle finger when changing lanes.